Friendships in childhood can assist in the development of certain skills, such as building empathy and learning different problem solving techniques.[7] Coaching from parents can help children make friends. Eileen Kennedy-Moore describes three key ingredients of children's friendship formation: (1) openness, (2) similarity, and (3) shared fun.[8] Parents can also help children understand social guidelines they haven't learned on their own.[9] Drawing from research by Robert Selman[10] and others, Kennedy-Moore outlines developmental stages in children's friendship, reflecting an increasing capacity to understand others' perspectives: "I Want It My Way", "What's In It For Me?", "By the Rules", "Caring and Sharing", and "Friends Through Thick and Thin.
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In adolescence, friendships become "more giving, sharing, frank, supportive, and spontaneous."[citation needed] Adolescents tend to seek out peers who can provide such qualities in a reciprocal relationship, and to avoid peers whose problematic behavior suggests they may not be able to satisfy these needs.[12] Particular personal characteristics and dispositions are also features sought by adolescents, when choosing whom to begin a friendship with.[13] During adolescence, friendship relationships are more based on similar morals and values, loyalty, and shared interests than those of children, whose friendships stem from being in the same vicinity and access to playthings.
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A large study of American adolescents determined how their engagement in problematic behavior (such as stealing, fighting, and truancy) was related to their friendships. Findings indicated that adolescents who were less likely to engage in problematic behavior had friends who did well in school, participated in school activities, avoided drinking, and had good mental health. The opposite was true of adolescents who did engage in problematic behavior. Whether adolescents were influenced by their friends to engage in problem behavior depended on how much they were exposed to those friends, and whether they and their friendship groups "fit in" at school.
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Friendships formed during post-secondary education last longer than
friendships formed earlier. In late adolescence, cross-racial
friendships tend to be uncommon, likely due to prejudice and cultural
differences.
Friendship in adulthood provides companionship,
affection, and emotional support, and contributes positively to mental
well-being and improved physical health.
Adults may find it particularly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships in the workplace. "The workplace can crackle with competition, so people learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues. Work friendships often take on a transactional feel; it is difficult to say where networking ends and real friendship begins."[17] Many adults value the financial well-being and security that their job provides more than developing friendships with coworkers.
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Older adults report high levels of personal satisfaction in their friendships as they age, even as the overall number of friends tends to decline. This satisfaction is associated with an increased ability to accomplish activities of daily living, as well as a reduced decline in cognitive abilities, decreased instances of hospitalization, and better outcomes related to rehabilitation.[16]: 427 The overall number of reported friends in later life may be mediated by[clarification needed] increased lucidity, better speech and vision, and marital status[which?].[21]: 53 A decline in the number of friends an individual has as they become older has been explained by Carstensen's Socioemotional Selectivity Theory, which describes a change in motivation that adults experience when socializing. The theory states that an increase in age is characterized by a shift from information-gathering to emotional regulation; in order to maintain positive emotions, older adults restrict their social groups
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As family responsibilities and vocational pressures lessen, friendships become more important. Among the elderly, friendships can provide links to the larger community, serve as a protective factor against depression and loneliness, and compensate for potential losses in social support previously given by family members.[24]: 32 33 Especially for people who cannot go out as often, interactions with friends allow for continued societal interaction. Additionally, older adults in declining health who remain in contact with friends show improved psychological well-being.
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Forming and maintaining friendships often requires time and effort.
Friendships are foremost formed by choice, typically on the basis
that the parties involved admire each other on an intimate level, and
enjoy commonality and socializing.
Most people underestimate
how much other people like them The liking gap can make it difficult
to form friendships.
A large body of research links friendship and health, but the precise reasons for the connection remain unclear. Most studies in this area are large prospective studies that follow people over time, and while there may be a correlation between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still do not know if there is a cause and effect relationship (such as: good friendships improve health). Theories that attempt to explain this link include that good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; that good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services when needed; that good friends enhance their friends' coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and that good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.
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Women tend to be more expressive and intimate in their same-sex friendships and have a smaller range[clarification needed] of friends.[13] Men are more likely to define intimacy in terms of shared physical experiences. In contrast, women are more likely to define it in terms of shared emotional ones. Men are less likely to make emotional or personal disclosures to other men because the other man could use this information against them. However, they will disclose this information to women (as they are not in competition with them), and men tend to regard friendships with women as more meaningful, intimate, and pleasant. Male-male friendships are generally more like alliances, while female-female friendships are much more attachment-based.[clarification needed] This also means that the end of male-male friendships tends to be less emotionally upsetting than that of female-female friendships.
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Which relationships count as a true friend, rather than as an acquaintance or a co-worker, vary by culture. In English-speaking cultures, it is not unusual for people to include weaker relationships as being friends.[44] In other cultures, such as the Russian and Polish cultures, only the most significant relationships are considered friends. A Russian might have one or two friends plus a large number of "pals" or acquaintances; a Canadian in similar circumstances might count all of these relationships as being friends.
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Women tend to be more socially adept than their male peers, among older adults. As a result, many older men may rely upon a female companion, such as a spouse, to compensate for their comparative lack of social skills.[23]: 55 One study found that women in Europe and North America were slightly more likely than men to self-report having a best friend.
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Lack of friendship plays a role in increasing risk of suicidal ideation among female adolescents. This is also true for having more friends who are not themselves friends with one another. However, no similar effect was observed for males. Having few or no friends is a major indicator in[clarification needed] the diagnosis of a range of mental disorders.
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